Journal · Settling up
How to remind a friend to pay you back, without the awkwardness
Friendly reminder messages, good timing and making it easy for friends to pay you back.
You paid for the concert tickets three weeks ago. Your friend has not paid you back. You do not want to nag, but S$180 is real money.
Most people have simply forgotten
In most cases, the friend is not avoiding you. They meant to pay and it slipped their mind. A friendly reminder is doing them a favour.
Messages that work
Keep it short, warm and specific.
- "Hey, for the concert tickets, it's S$90 each. Here's my PayNow when you get a chance."
- "Quick one: still S$45 from Saturday's dinner. No rush this week."
- "Settling up the trip this weekend. You're S$120 to me, everything else is square."
Include the amount and how to pay. The fewer steps, the faster it happens.
Timing
- Send the first message within a day or two, while everyone remembers.
- If there is no reply, a second gentle message a week later is fine.
- Avoid reminding someone in front of the group. Message them directly.
Make paying easy
Share your PayNow, DuitNow, PayID or other payment details in the message. A QR code works even better at the table.
When the amount is large
For bigger amounts, such as a deposit or flights, agree on the repayment date before you pay. "I'll book the flights tonight, can you send me your half by Friday?"
When to let it go
For small amounts with close friends, sometimes it is easier to call it even and pick up the next coffee. That is your choice to make. Just make it on purpose, not because asking felt too hard.
With Perpax
Perpax, coming soon from Goldmend Money, will send a gentle reminder for you. It will never show amounts on the lock screen, so it stays between you and your friend.
General information, not financial or legal advice. Figures are examples. Check your receipt and official sources.